TYPHOON FRANK AFTERMATH

Friday of June 20, 2008 when Typhoon Frank hit the archipelago. Little did I know that it would strike hard in Iloilo. There was heavy rain fall and strong winds. Saturday, June 21 I woke up early and had my dad drive me to Ventus to finish some work. We came across the Jaro river where we usually get the sign if flood will occur. So far it was in its normal level and dad said he will just call in case...

It was not after 1 hour when dad called that the siren is all over the place which warned the people in Tabuc Suba Jaro to prepare for the flood. I'm on a hurry to go home so I asked the assistance of nong Ruel to give me a ride home and minutes later mom texted me not to go home anymore. When we passed by Jaro, the van can no longer penetrate the water.
I decided to meet Jet at Robinsons Mall. The water is all over the place and I started to panic. He was there waiting for me. I can't help myself not to cry. I'm worried about my family back home. My brother's in Capiz and ufortunatley he can't go home coz it's signal number 3 in that place. I stayed with Jet the whole night hoping that tomorrow I can go home.

I'm getting more worried when I can't contact them already. jet and I went back to Ventus Sunday morning hoping I could get a chance to contact them since the whole city is black out, Ventus is just the only place who has reserved electricity.

Still I can't contact them. The landline's just ringing. I had the thought that the water reached the telephone line. So I decided to go to Jaro and check out the situation. We reached Jaro, I was with my cousin and Jet. We walked from Jaro bridge down Bankers Village. Seeing the whole place was a disaster. The Brgy Hall was full of refugees lining up to get some food from a truck with donations. Jetskies and motorboats were parked in the sideways, cars were also parked on the side og the bridge and sidewalks. We passed by Iloilo Supermart and it was all damaged. the water entered the store and the glass door broke. I can't imagine how an elevated place was reached by water. We came near Quintin Salas and saw some cars been thrown away in the vacant lot.. I saw our car parked in outside the building beside the village and it's drowned. I saw mud inside and it's oil spilled out.

We entered Bankers and the current of the water is so strong I just can't lift my feet. Jet and my cousin were pulling me to my feet. We reached home at last. I saw the mansions with crached fences, and muddy furnitures. All light posts and telephone lines are dead and were actually down. And my house, it's all chocoloate covered mud!!! I saw my helpers shoveling the mud out of our gate. Dad approached us teary eyed saying that "Guba gid ya balay ta, wala gid ko nag expektar na amu ni matabo" (It's all damaged. I didn't expect this to happen).

We went inside and all our furnitures are covered with mud.I saw the mark of the water in our wall. It's inches away from the ceiling. Shoes and clothings can't be distinguished which color, all documents were wet and covered with mud. Our utensils are nowhere to be found, they're scattered everywhere. No clothes were saved. To make it all short, all was damaged. I couldn't imagine this will happen. Nobody expected it. It's so tragic. The typhoon might have been gone. But the damage and trauma will remain. But I still thank God that my family is saved. That's all that matters.

SOMETHING'S MISSING

This is an honest feeling. I'm heading through marraige life yet I've been missing a lot in my life. The closeness to my parents. Eversince my growing years, I never felt a parent supporting me all the way. The fact that I never grew up with them. I was under the care of my grand parents four months after mom gave birth to me. I would tell that I'm close to my lola and aunts in the rural area. My parents just provided me with things that don't even sympathize to what I feel.

When I was four, they took me back with them. My dad used to be a lil close to me. He would give me a few hugs and kisses even though he's busy working. My childhood years was spent together with a yaya (nanny). They sent me to a rpivate school but never attended any PTA meetings, never let me dance ballet (which I very much loved to do) and didn't let me enjoy all the things I wanted to experience during my younger years.

I'm on my teen years until I stepped to college. I wanted to take up journalism or mass communications but mom hindered all. She let me took up business course. I never find it interesting. She would get mad if I get low grades. I just can't achieve anything if it doesn't interests me, so how would I get a high grade?

I fell into some on and off relationships and I never shared any of it to them. All my relationships were kept secret till the just found out from some friends who saw me dating with somebody.

I had this one guy that I would I would last forever with him but my parents totally disagree with our relationship. I tried to fight the rleationship but the guy totally gave up because my parents didn't like him at all.

I got pregnant with my present boyfriend and they were so mad at me after knowing that I was diagnosed to ectopic pregnancy. All hurting words were thrown back at me and they were so disappointed. Our relationship nearly eneded because of this. But my boyfriend stood up and eventually won back the trust of my parents. We're happy now. I'm open with my relationship now.

Mom got stroke after a couple of months. My brother and I were scared thinking we might lose her. I was worried about dad also. Afterall she's my mother. Though she's recovering now, our closeness hasn't changed. I felt like I never had a mom. All my years I never felt my mom being in my side. All I could remember is her telling me to pay some bills and insurances. Sometimes I would think, is money all that matters to her?

When the family of my boyfriend came to house to fully agreed of getting us engaged, They even told them that I'm useless and I'm suwail na bata (rebel child). But my boyfriend said he proved them wrong. I may be suplada buy I'm not a rebel. I just need somebody to understand the real me.

When I went to meet the whole family of my fiance, I envy them. When my fiance's brother died, I saw how bonded they all are. All are so sweet with each other and very supportive of each other. They never fight and never throw words at each other. Their parents never humiliated them and they fully understand each of their 9 children. I wonder, we are just 2 in the family but our parents never saw our inner personality.

I just wanted to feel loved. But now I know why I was not close to my parents especially my mom. It's because she was never there when I grew up. I understand that they have to work but that should have understood that they have kids to spend time with. I don't know if I still have the possibility to bear a child. But if will, I'll make it a point to spend time with my baby no matter how busy I am. I'll never let my baby experience what I've been through. I'll be the best mother I can be for my baby....someday.

JUBOGSKI

I haven't had enough sleep last night. Jet called me past 10 in the evening and he sounded drunk. At first he denied the fact. he reasoned that he watched tv and he just went to his room at that time of the hour. I knew he's lying coz I know exactly that he sleeps 9pm. After further forcing, he finally admitted that he had a drink with a certain "Joel"...and that made me so mad!!! Not to mention that he woke me up in the middle of my sleep claiming that I haven't called him (fart!!! I've waited for hours waiting for your call!!!)..In the middle of the night where my folks were asleep, I was shouting at him on the phone!!! I never had enough sleep not to mention that I still have my period and my shift is 4AM!!!

Worried

I feel bad. I'm getting worried about the future. I know that according to The Secret you have to stay positive in most times. But this time I don't think I have to stay positive. It hurts to think that you can't get what you want. You have obligations. What you earn doesn't stay on you. You have to give a part of it to the persons who demand something or who oblige something from you. That's me and my fiance. We have responsibilities. Not to mention that we are saving for the future but we can't...it's because as long as we're single we have responsibilities. We don't earn big as of now and I don't know if when are we going to experience the one called wealth. I just have to ask my self all the time...Why am I not born rich? If only I have something and I'm willing to give a help...that's the sad truth..I have nothing.

WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS

I watched The Chorinicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian last Saturday with Jet. I begged him for that coz he's not the type of a movie goer. He made a deal with me that if he finds the movie dull, I'll pay back the price. But if he finds it nice, it's all for free. I'm glad he found it nice!!!

Sunday I had lunch with him together with his family. His recent crave is playing the guitar. he played the song "Narda" by Kamikazee and I sang along. He then tagged me to the mall to buy a guitar coz he was so eager to learn but with such unfortunate luck, his credit card was declined! I was like "Since when did that thing went offline?!" he calmed me down. But he will still buy that guitar this week. Hassle...

Monday was a holiday. It's Independence Day. I stayed home and watched TV the whole boring day. Mom and Dad went out, my brother's in Roxas, Jet stayed home with his family and I was like couch potato. I can't remember how many times I scanned the channel and nothing interesting on TV. I have to wait for TV Patrol World and Lobo to show up in Prime Time Bida.

So far that's it for the days....I'm back to work...

GRATITUDE

There are certain things that I would like to be thankful about. Things that I thought I would never have and would never experience in my life. First, my job. I've always wished to work at well known company that would I can benefit my whole life. Before I graduated from college, I dreamed on working at the Human Resources department. My past jobs were not so generous in giving me the oppurtunity till ePLDT Ventus found me. Now, I am with the Human Resources Payroll, oha?! hehehe.

Next is the working environment. I've never been motivated in my life since I joined Ventus HR. Why? Because all my co-workers here are helping me out. We are a team and we had an unbelievable HR Manager.

I've never been happier when the man in my life was finally given to me. I had some failed relationships in the past and I almost thought that I would forever be a failure. This guy loved me so much and I can see it in him. He loved me and my family and even my lola hehehe. Not to mention that I also love his family and his family loved me too!! I'm so close with his sisters.

Finally, my parents liked him for me. Finally and totally finally. My mom never welcomed any guys at home before. Now, the house is an open house for Jet..Thank you Lord. Happy nako.. Favor, will you ring the bells for me next year? hehehe what I mean is wedding bells...

MISS YOU BABE

I just finished my time reports for the cut-off. I dropped some teams which didn't submit their time reports. But I pity those who depend on the allowances. they will receive just a little amount of their salary. Rules are rules peeps, sorry.

I missed Jet. We met this morning and he was all smiles, I saw in him the fondness and the craving of me, hehehe. While we roam the grocery store, he kept saying "Mi, hidlaw gid ko sa imo" (Mi, I miss you badly). Well, can't wait this Saturday and Sunday and Monday (no office, it's Independence Day).

It just feels good that you are being loved so much :)

UNLUCKY DAY

I"m so not lucky today. Starting from the time I went out of the house, carrying my 1.5 liter of mineral water (which totally didn't match my outfit and ruined my poise). The fancy shoes I got from my mom kept falling off my foot and eventually tore off (bwisit!!!).. I was riding the jeep and all the freakin' smoke belchers run past me and I had smoke all over my face. When I arrive at the office, the time reports submitted were incomplete!!! And I had to return back all and....hmmmm, I'll drop them all. I was sooooooo mad grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! that's it!!!! I can't control my temper. I'm just so not lucky today.

BAD TRIP

Yesterday was so badtrip. Imagine ha, my shift is 6:30AM. Friday afternoon we packed all our stuff to transfer to our new office. Monday morning as I entered the new office, it was a total mess!! Our computers were not connected, no phones, all was disorganized and dusty. If I haven't emailed those freakin fas, and computer freaks, they wouldn't have taken action. I was being emailed by big boar that I was shouting at him in my email because I had the font adjusted to be able to read clearly, dammit don't you know that shouting in the email is ALL CAPS?! And what really caused me highblood was this trying hard computer geek who barged into the HR confidential files to look for his transcripts!!! Then what he just said was sorry? the hell was that? I just felt that nobody was actually respecting HR now. Just because all of us htere are goody? Watch out!!! If I can't hold my patience any longer, I'll fire the hell out your ass!!! I was so mad. I wasn't able to accomplish my tasks for the day. All I did was arrange all my stuff in my smaller station. Not to mention that I don't feel well. I had a sore throat and my voice bacame hoarse. darn!!! But all seem to fade when I get to see my fiance. He put me in the nice mood again.

POSITIVE THINKING

I'm the type of person who worries to much of what will happen next. I've experienced hardships in life and in relationships but thankful that I'm happy with the present. Just this afternoon, Jet called telling me some financial issues and the rest of my gang here at the office had a problem on adjusting a last pay. I'm beginning to absorb their negative energy and I felt heavy inside.

Last night, Jet made me "pikon" when he teased me to being fat. I was reading the Secret that time and what a coincidence that I was able to open to the page where the topic is "The Secret and your Body"..which stated that if you keep thinking "fat thoughts" there's no way a diet will work and you'll forever be fat for the rest of your life. Come to think of it, one cannot think "thin thoughts" and get fat.. Get the point? So, it's as simple to "think positive" all the time. It attracts every happy thought you think. Just like Peter Pan..."think of a happy thought and you'll fly"

I-N-V

I read one of my emails this morning. Our boss will be on VL for a couple of days and she emailed some endoresments. at the end of the email, she congratulated one of us for a job well done. I felt a rush of envy for her. I dunno. It's not that I wanted be be appreciated it's just that I felt pity for myself. I'm trying my best to keep my work good and accurate but I just can't get rid of mistakes. I know that my supervisor observes my work. I always delay hers, I cause a lot of disputes that affected the whole team. I blame myself for everything. Though we say we're just human and we commit mistakes, but this is worse than I thought. I've been with the company for a couple of months now and I should have perfected my work but I still can't. Do I belong here? Should I belong here? I love everything in this company but I still fear the result of my PAR. This is where we base the increase of my salary. If I don't get this good, I'll be paid low. Hay Val, when will you learn?

SPENDING TIME

Jet called this morning telling me he might be in Guimaras this Saturday for their company's get together. he kept telling me he's hesitant to go at first coz he's not comfortable with the crowd. Then he just said he might go coz his Manager will also go along but they'll just go home in the afternoon. I felt bad. I wanted to spend time with him this Saturday. Last week he went to Capiz. This week he'll go to Guimaras? Ahay ah!! I just feel bad coz it's always our schedule every week end to spend time with each other coz for the rest of the weekdays, we're at work. Am I too selfish? Childish?

STRESSED

Last Friday was soooo hectic. We had our check release for the part-time agents. To think that the line outside the office was almost until outside of the building and it's still raining!!! The checks arrived late from the bank and we still have to attach the paystatements to 470 checks!!! Our VP was here and she went nuts seeing the crowd. we released the checks before the scheduled time as ordered by our Manager, come to think that we're not yet prepared and organized. Checks were scrambled, no paystatements were found, and a lot. My throat dried up, heat starting to rise on my head, I can't even feel the aircon!!! Even our HR Manager and VP helped in the releasing, naks!!! nahuya ko ya.

Last Saturday I stayed home. Jet went home to Capiz with h is sibs. I decided to had my body reflexed. When it started, I felt the utmost pain almost all over my body and a sign of relief after. The following day, I still stayed home, I was expecting that Jet will arrive from Capiz Sunday afternoon. If I hadn't texted his sister, I wouldn't have known that they changed their plan. Grrrrr I was so mad. He didn't even text!!!! Humanda siya!!! He should have texted me!!!!

I MISS HOME...

Dad called this afternoon telling me that I still can't go home!!! I don't have anymore dress here with me!! I miss my bed. I miss watching TV. I miss rolling on my bed early in the morning. Oh and my mirror, my dresser, my pocketbooks. Usually, I miss my things at home. the usual that I do. Fart that flood!! I can't even cross the flooded streets. how I wish I can go home tomorrow.

RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY!!!!

"Rain, rain go away, come again another day. Little ladies wants to play."... Super grabe ang rain. I didn't go home yesterday coz my place was flooded. I spent the night with Jet at his boarding house. I didn't get enough sleep because I hate the sound of the terrible wind and rain!!! I didn't bring any clothes with me so what I did, I ran to the nearest thrift shop and bought something cheap. I didn't have enough money!!! I went to the office early though my shift is 12:30pm. I called home, dad answered that the water just got in the house. If it won't subside till this afternoon, I'm stuck for one night again here!!! Di ko na kaya kay wala nako bayo!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!

HMMM..SOME THINGS TO BLOG...

Nothing much has happened that made some "impact" to my day. I'm ok, hehe. Tomorrow is payday and that means a lil income, and some "utang" to pay. hayyyy. this question seems to bug off my mind..."When am i going be rich?" seldom asked but always dreamed of. It's pretty much harder to save not to mention that you only get a lil "ok" salary to pay some much "pissed" bills and spend some "farty" expenses for the rest of the days until payday again. I'm getting old, that's the fact. In some years I'm settling down (still hoping I will) and will have a kid to feed (hoping that I can conceive one).

I just happened to answer and online "GOD Answers" multiple choice. there's this question, what is something I'm hard to let go of and I answered "Worries". I worry everything. and I don't know why. I worry all, from work to life. Seems that I don't trust myself and my destiny. I'm always with the word WHAT IF?

Can I bang my head?

First, I'm so relieved that Jet and I made up already. We met last Saturday after logging out from the office. We had lunch then went to see Sam Milby and anne Curtis on their Kapamilya Caravan blah blah blah. the bad thing is, I never get to see them. Coz I'm so short!!! grrrrrrr!!!! so Jet decided to watch the amateur boxing at Robinsons. how he just loved boxing. watch out, everytime Pacquiao plays, you'll never hear my cellphone ring. he is too "concentrated"...

It was so funny coz the guy he thought was a good fighter got knocked out on the 1st round, hehehe he was so funny coz before the game he had a sparring moment with his coach, and Jet thought he'll win coz his punches were sa strong until he just got knocked out in the ring.

We finally went to chuch. then in the middle of the homily, Jet said sorry for being such a jerk for a couple of days (that was our 6-day fight). he confessed that he hated if I "dedma" him. So he did "dedma" me also for me to realize what I've done. Wellllll.... to make the story short, peace na kami. he planted a kiss on my forehead during the sign of peace. Sweeeeeetttttt... I love it....

Oh and Mother's Day was okay. my brother was home from Roxas, I watched ASAP, Nanny McPhee(which actually is a good film), BUZZ (Jericho Rosales cried so hard on his breakup with Heart, huhuhuhu) the hell I care...

Now here's the worst part. TODAY...count my malas:

1. Smart account sent multiples of disputes!!!
2. I got pissed off coz the time report tracker is incorrect!!!!
3. My ramp just got delayed coz of the stupid holiday hours!!
4. Oh by the way, did i just mentioned that my smart disputes focused mainly on HOLIDAY PAY?
5. I have to adjust one whole previews payout for the holiday pay!!!
6. Agents who submitted ATM forms are all incomplete and they still get the neerve to get mad?!
7. My supervisor scolded me for giving information to a certain jerk who was so mad because an agent didn't pay his "utang" to her.
8. My supervisor just said it nicely but I know she's mad. That's against the guidelines!!!
9. i have no more money (When pa ang sweldo man?)
10. Manila ramp just called for their disputes!!!
    

that's it... so far, my not so so so good day...

SO BAD MY DAY IS...

My whole day was a mess. Until now Jet and I are war of the worlds. I almost cried in the office. I'm so mad that i wanted to punch someone. What's wrong with us? What's wrong with him? I would almost lose hope. As always and usual, I don't have a perfect relationship. I can't concentrate on my work now that I have my ramp request. My mind is not working at all. I want to settle the problem with him but he claims he's busy. Then he would change his mind and keeps calling me that he'll give me a ride to the office only that I'm now riding the jeepney headed to Ventus. Then he would put the blame that my cellphone is deaf. Then he would keep texting me that he'll go home to Capiz, leaving me here and don't want to spend the weekend with me then telling me again all sorts of things that would make me feel bad. Maybe he just misses me that's why he's being arrogant. we haven't seen each other for a couple of days coz it's raining and dad doesn't want us both to get wet from the rain. I want our relationship to last forever. But I don't know if what's planned for us.

Good and Bad happenings

First off, Jet's not in the mood for love. what i really meant was he's acting so arrogant since Sunday. just for a very dull reason that i wasn't able to answer his 6 missed calls. he hates it when he's being "dedma". We were exchanging bad moods for 3 days already. Or maybe we just missed each other coz i'm on a night shift and he never get to ride me home coz the weather is bad so i had my dad fetch me. hope we can make up by the weekend.

Finally, Ventus is moving to Lapaz!!!! we will have our own site!!! yahooooo... as Weng said, it's a 3-storey building and HR will be moving there too. i'll probably stay here for good. We just had our meeting and i felt a sign of relief when Weng finally decided to give the agents a headbutt. we will not credit exemptions to them if they submit late!!! yezzzzzz...

that's all for now. gotta go>>>

Happenings for the Week

Mother's day ramp is here. and that means a lot of mean, demanding and trying hard agents are to flock HR again to complain of their salaries. this is the time where i get totally pissed off. i'm supposed to be sent to Manila to organize the ramp and come to think of it, 3 weeks!!! that means 3 weeks away from Iloilo and 3 weeks without seeing Jet!! ugh that sucks. i just bought my travel luggage, prepared my clothes, bugged our Finance for my per diem until Carol finally said, my trip is cancelled. wahahhaha happy! there's no way i will go to Manila. that place is cursed. all sorts of crimes are there. Though i once fancied going to the Mall of Asia, i changed my mind. i'd rather shop at SM City Iloilo afterall it's still SM.

we hired Paula as our Payroll project hire. She's my only friend when i worked at SM before. now she's with Ventus. hopefully HR will absorb her afterall, Joie might be resigning. she ok. she's fast but a lil not too accurate pa, hehe. more practice.

ok. now here's some out of the topic thing. Jet has a toothache. it's not that painful but it's sensitive "ngilo". he was like, frowning all the time and he can't eat!!! i'll accompany him to the dentist this Saturday. but the problem now is, he's grumpy. i understand that the pain is affecting his mood but i just can't stand not talking to him. and that made matters worse. we ended up quarelling, huhuhu. but we're doin fine. but not that sweet today.

just this morning, i read an email regarding ramp agents complaining that they were not paid correctly. their manager said that these agents will bring the matter to court!!! i feel awful, seems like they blame everything to Payroll. but you that? that's the Team Leader's fault coz they don't organize there reports. especially this curly haired TL, i get pissed off when she submits her reports. the names are all scrambled, some agents doesn't have hours plotted on the time reports. that's why every time i request and they would complain, it fires me up!!! i was like, "can you settle the matter with your team leader coz we don't know how many hours you rendered for the day". i feel really bad putting all the blame to payroll. is this the credit we get? agents doesn't even know the word courteous. they are trying hard americans!!! but they are fake. i swear they are.

Why was I not blessed with all the luck in the world?

I just made a deep thought lastnight when my friend texted me that she was pregnant and that she's getting married. I suddenly felt a rush of envy thinking why so soon when I, myself wished that I would settle down the soonest. Then thoughts came to my mind, "why?"....Was I born unlucky? I'm not blessed with beauty and brains, I'm not blessed with good physical features such as height and figure. I'm not rich, I can't get anything I want, I've been unlucky in love (except for my present), I'm not bonded that much to my family and most especially I can't bear a child as of now. I mean, were all of these been done on purpose? Why was I experiencing this? I just felt I haven't accomplished something in my whole life. All I brought was disapointment. I haven't made anyone that happy and proud. It's not that I'm not contented of what I have in my life now, it's just that why am I always left behind? I'm not competing with anybody. Somehow I just want that as life pass by, I'm with them on the way.

Leaving on a....new career...

Joie is leaving. as in resigning!!! she'll study medicine. i felt bad. i know we have to move on to a new career but the point of adjusting to a new emvironment seems hard. Weng already told me not to resign. but since she was the one who got me to Ventus, it's a gratitude. but how i wish HR will remain a team and a group. Ellie has gone to Training already. she's not part of HR anymore. it felt sa bad. who will be the next recruitment and who will be the next payroll?

Holy Vacation

I spent my holy week at Capiz, home of my future in-laws :)....days before that I was getting excited that I already packed my stuff, all complete in my newly bought travelling bag (from SM 3-day sale). I finished my reports for payroll just before Holy Thursday. Was i that really exited?!

That night, fart! can't sleep, hehehe how i wish it's morning already. i just can't help myself feeling excited, felt like something was burning my ass. I got my dad give me a ride to the terminal the following day where Jet and his cute cousin was waiting for me. speaking of cute, he's just cute. speaking of age, he's way tooo young than my brother. but he's tall. then we waited for his sister and niece then we rode a bus to Capiz!!!

I was so delighted when I saw Jet's dad, my future dad-in-law to be exact and when i got there, i immediately ran to the beach, just a couple of walks from their house. it's my favorite tambayan. They told me to treat the house like my own house and i was like, am i family? hehehe. I kept reminding myself that "Val, you are still the girlfriend, not the wife!!! Stop pretending as if..." it's one happy family inspite of the tragic death of one member of the family.

then everything just turned upside down when i met the wife of Jet's brother that happened to be the sister of his ex!!!! felt like i'm gonna be sick the whole vacation. i just noticed that she doesn't bond with the family. she's like, when she visits the house, she'll just sit in one corner. Jet never even introduced me to her. actually i've been introduced to all of his bros and sis in-laws but never to her. and i just felt like i've been covered by the world when i learned that his ex returned home from taiwan, and she just standing infront of us in the church after the procession!!!!! pakshiyet!!!! that bitch!!!! i was like going to scream!!!! my chest felt so heavy... i was getting paranoid thinking what if Jet will go back to her? what if that girl tries to steal him back from me? and to the fact that they are now in-laws!!!! coz his brother married her freakin sister! and also to the fact that she has the same name and nickname as Jet's sister!! i felt like i'm going to puke everytime i mention the "name" when i call his sister. but just to enlighten a bit, Jet just stayed with me all week. he stayed sweet and passionate that in just kept loving him.

one funny thing i just learned from the freakin sisters, Jet's sibs are not close to them. that's one ganda points for me. coz they're like, tattlers. bad mouth type of people. Jet's sibs are more closer to me. how i just love that. i love his family to be honest. just when we got back to the city, i was in tears. i miss them, i miss the place, i miss the whole days with Jet. how i really wanted to get married na. but his brother just died. it can't be celebrated in the same year as beliefs would say. well i'm still be going back.

Not My Day...

not really my day. I just damaged our office printer, wahahahaha... It just ate a ribbon and it got jammed. now we're connected to IT printer downstairs and we're like going up and down the strairs!!! But i didn't mean it. it was an accident. but i felt bad about it. i pity my friends going up and down the stairs not to mention our Manager, hehehe.

anyways, Jet went back to his hometown. tomorrow's the burial of his brother. I would have gone with him but I'm too busy and there's no time.

I'm a lil upset this past days. we have no internet. no surfing, no access to any business online trackers and no YM...it was soooooo boring. now it was restored but only a few selected websites that are in use. i'm dependent on yahoo music. i'm getting deaf here if i can't listen to music.

Tactless...

Fart! i am soooo tactless, imagine, we just fisished having a meeting and i was incharge of taking the minutes. there's this discussion about going on a night shift for payroll. as discussed by the group, we will hire another payroll staff. but we agreed not to. instead just be on an early shift. i was able to write that on my draftand was able to include it on the minutes till i emailed it to the whole HR team. just then our manager emailed my supervisor about the matter of hiring another staff and it sounds a lil not so good...god, did i just victimized my supervisor? shame....

by the way, Jet and i made up...i'm happy.. i miss him...i'm going with him for the holy week.. its going to be a holllllllllyyyy week end....

Bad Day....

I had a bad day now. I had a fight with Jet and I really felt so bad. He didn't text me the whole day!!!!!.....i wanted to cry...then i emailed some employees regarding their tardiness and it seemk they're mad at it coz i let the whole site know they're late!!!! the hell, they claimed they're humiliated!!! it's not me fault they're late... i'm about to go home and i haven't gotten any text from Jet... i really wanted to cry...please please please let him text!!!!!

Premonitions

i had some premonitions before Jet's brother died. every time there's something bad will happen the first thing that happens to me is my breath becomes shorter. i can't take a deep breath! but i ignored them and all of a sudden, it happened. my brother-in-law died. then i have dreams of him. he looked for Jet in my dream and told me he'll go ahead. then he texts me In my dream the time 10:30.. what does that mean? just before his corpse arrives, i felt so cold and weak. then when we went back to the city, he appeared in my dream and told me to take care of his little girl. just yesterday i almost lost my breath in my sleep. i heard voices laughing and in my consciousness they were so happy that Jet's brother died. it sounded so evil.

now i'm in my office. i can't stay at home it will only make me sad. Jet went home to Roxas and i have no date!!! i might as well work my ass out here... no overtime... hehehehe... thtat's ok, after this i'll get something to eat, i'm starving...

A Tragic Week...

i have no rest for the rest of the week. Audit came in the middle of out cut-off. my station is a mess, i haven't filed my documents yet. another cut-off is coming. i really wanted to rest on a saturday and spend my time with my fiance but some bad news came...his brother dies from a vehicular accident. it was a fatal death i knew what happened but i don't want to detail everything coz it just hurts to recall. i can't imagine his brother left them in just a blink of an eye. i went with them to capiz. it was a 4hour travel from the city. despite the tragedy, i enjoyed my stay at them. they are so hospitable. i never felt out of place. i toured every place, i didn't feel any hunger and exhaustion, really. i want to go back this holy week!!! yahoooo.....

the funny thing was, everybody, even his parents claims that we are already married!!! music to my ears...feeling wife...it's nice..though we're not yet married. we're planning to get married this year, but since his brother died, we're postponing it next year..

their place is so peaceful. it's near the beach, their house is antique surrounded by coconut trees. their place is white sand. and to think that i'm just in the back part of boracay.. i love their accent too. his sisters are pretty. and his brother whose in Manila right now has a resemblance of Zoren Legaspi, as in!!! Handsome... but nothing compares to my fiance...

Freaky Friday

it's all in the mind...it's a total mess now to us, payroll, imagine, we're suppose to release salaries coz its the 15th of the month and yet the checks got stranded in Manila!!!! and to hell, all agents are complaining their ass out coz they got no bread to feed their folks! so instead of a day off tomorrow, we're going back just to release these checks. i'm doing cash request for ramp but to hell, they're tooooo many and i was like manualing the computation just to check their exceeded hours!! it's nearly 10pm yet i havent finished my work. Ria, Carol and I went to have a snack and yet all we did was laugh and laugh. hahaha exchanging nonsense stories but its fun. but still we're meeting deadlines coz next week is audit week. fart! we're going to be audited. how i just wish we pass..gotta go now. buhbye! my fiance's waiting for me.

Tomorrow and the day after every day

hey, did I forgot to tell that I just had my performance appraisal? i think i passed but its a low score.that's ok, i'm still new pa naman. how i would die to be regularized, you know why? coz it's toooooo hard to look for a job, my god i swear!!!! i've experienced it!!! and i nearly gave up. luckily, Ventus got me! weeeeeee!!!! unlike at SM before, my god they failed me on my first appraisal! that's pakin' shit man. it's just that i dont get along with my freakin supervisor who doesnt even know how to spreak english FLUENTLY. Really!!! and to think that all of them there are so unprofessional except for pawie, who was my only friend there and i'm so greatful that she's resigning. and i'm thankgul for what happened to me(you know... the ummm?) that gave me the urge to get out of that hell. that's why i advise everyone... don't apply at SM. i swear your life will be miserable.

anywayz, tomorrow will be another busy day as usual, im always busy. i cant even remember to retouch and comb my hair!!! payroll cut-off!!! meeting deadlines again and freaking out again!!! i'm pissed off of the agents complain about their salary. but as what i always remind myself, I'm HR and HR is to guarantee customer service. heh!!! should they be abusing us, they can no longer receive their salary, mark my word!!!

Hearts Day

valentine's day..but i cant date!!! why? coz i'm on a night shift and my fiance will just drive me home. that's fine, we can have a post valentine instead, hihihi...i dont have a special gift for him but ya know what i thought? i bought him a mister donut belgian bites with a small teddy bear.. does that sound girlish? but it's the thought that counts naman e..but the sad thing was, we're on a petty fight :( how will i give my gift to him? i'll just try my best to be a lil sweet to him. and hopefully the begian bites will cheer up his mood.

:(

don't i have a happy thought to write in here?its ash wednesday and i wasn't able to go get my forehead ashed coz of this stupid time reports that need to submit before tomorrow!!! and to the fact that my fiance doesnt have load, it's too sad knowing that no one is texting me. he's my only textmate!!!...speaking, i wanted to be with him na. but when? the more i count the days, the more it gets too long for the time to come. im, still scared it might happen again, you know.. my trauma. and to think that i dont want to stay at home na. i just hate the way my folks talk about how life is so hard... talking bout words of disencouragement. it's just too annoying. how i wish i could answer them back but im just watchfull of their blood pressure. when will this end?!!!!!

cut-off

again..for payroll.. i couldn't imagine how stressful it is to pay all employees from the hours they rendered. but it's fun though. i just hate it when they submit their time reports late and when they see their deductions they would complain like as if they were the boss. if only i could answer them back...

hayyyy...

i dont know what to do with the people at home. they don't understand what's going on me!!! i hate them for interfering my lovelife!!! like do they know what's really happening?!! i dont want to share all my problems to them. they don't understand and they will never understand. i dont wanna seek their opinions either.

grumpy...

i dont feel like myself yesterday and even today. i had a misunderstanding with him that i started it the whole situation. as usual, i'm the one with the pea brain. he said he'll stop everything and i got paranoid!!! i was like, "This is happening again..." i just don't feel like talking to all the people in the house especially mom, she just doesn't seem to care anymore whether or not im home. yah, i know, she loves my brother more than i. it's ok, im close with lola naman e. how i wish i'm married so i could have my separate life from them. but maybe that would take a long time to happen, or maybe it won't happen. i don't feel comfortable with anybody right now. i just want to be alone. but i'm talking to him tonight. we want to clear up things. i want to save US...

Reunited

yesterday was great! i had dinner with my highschool girlfriends at Paprika, RIverside Boardwalk. hayyyy, nakakamiss. way back in highschool, we're like talking about crushes and boybands, but just yesterday, we're talking about marraige. hehe... most of us were married and has kids already. Well i'm next in line.. i'm just too caight up with our laughs that i'm suppose to go home! my fiance and my dad were like "puli na!!! my duty ka pa bwas!!!" hehehe they're funny. oh well, days are not yet over. i'll still see these gals anytime anywhere. these are the girls that stay for last.

Friends for Life

i've had so many friends in my growing up years. i'm not a typical friend who would be the very best friend ever. but i'm not a traitor. i keep secrets, i can be an adviser, a companion and a chat mate. i love sharing things to friends who can be trusted. inhad this friend once, she would always buzz be of what's happening to my life until we became enemies and just reported all my confidentialities to the whole workplace, how i would love to kill her. from that time on i stopped communicating with her. i had close friends way back but they seem to interfere my love life. i had one friend hus very witty and funny but i didn't last to my employer so we didn't bond that much. she's my cuz' friend also. and my present friends here at call center. they're cool. so patient and understanding. i love being with them. it motivates me to work at my best because they had the impression of a Team.

Pissed!!!

i get annoyed by agents barging in the office without even greeting or being polite. then they would ask "can i get my check?" or "i would like to ask bout the salary.." or "why did i just receive this amount?" it's like they treat us like ATM machines here. grrrrr!!! how i would like to answer them back. but i just put in mind that i'm HR and HR should promote patience and employee displine. if only i could not release their salary...but were after Labor watch...

my partner

i love my fiance. we're planning to get married na this year. happy ko coz we're doin fine. we jive along together even though sometimes we're like cats and dogs when fighting. my family loves him, lola loves him. hehe. i've been hurt so many times. hopefully it won't happen this time.sometimes i get so worried lang if he's not beside me, and when he hangs out with friends. i get this thinking that he might cheat and do something behind my back. just last night, he's so mad at me for doubting him. scared lang me. don't wanna lose him.