TYPHOON FRANK AFTERMATH

Friday of June 20, 2008 when Typhoon Frank hit the archipelago. Little did I know that it would strike hard in Iloilo. There was heavy rain fall and strong winds. Saturday, June 21 I woke up early and had my dad drive me to Ventus to finish some work. We came across the Jaro river where we usually get the sign if flood will occur. So far it was in its normal level and dad said he will just call in case...

It was not after 1 hour when dad called that the siren is all over the place which warned the people in Tabuc Suba Jaro to prepare for the flood. I'm on a hurry to go home so I asked the assistance of nong Ruel to give me a ride home and minutes later mom texted me not to go home anymore. When we passed by Jaro, the van can no longer penetrate the water.
I decided to meet Jet at Robinsons Mall. The water is all over the place and I started to panic. He was there waiting for me. I can't help myself not to cry. I'm worried about my family back home. My brother's in Capiz and ufortunatley he can't go home coz it's signal number 3 in that place. I stayed with Jet the whole night hoping that tomorrow I can go home.

I'm getting more worried when I can't contact them already. jet and I went back to Ventus Sunday morning hoping I could get a chance to contact them since the whole city is black out, Ventus is just the only place who has reserved electricity.

Still I can't contact them. The landline's just ringing. I had the thought that the water reached the telephone line. So I decided to go to Jaro and check out the situation. We reached Jaro, I was with my cousin and Jet. We walked from Jaro bridge down Bankers Village. Seeing the whole place was a disaster. The Brgy Hall was full of refugees lining up to get some food from a truck with donations. Jetskies and motorboats were parked in the sideways, cars were also parked on the side og the bridge and sidewalks. We passed by Iloilo Supermart and it was all damaged. the water entered the store and the glass door broke. I can't imagine how an elevated place was reached by water. We came near Quintin Salas and saw some cars been thrown away in the vacant lot.. I saw our car parked in outside the building beside the village and it's drowned. I saw mud inside and it's oil spilled out.

We entered Bankers and the current of the water is so strong I just can't lift my feet. Jet and my cousin were pulling me to my feet. We reached home at last. I saw the mansions with crached fences, and muddy furnitures. All light posts and telephone lines are dead and were actually down. And my house, it's all chocoloate covered mud!!! I saw my helpers shoveling the mud out of our gate. Dad approached us teary eyed saying that "Guba gid ya balay ta, wala gid ko nag expektar na amu ni matabo" (It's all damaged. I didn't expect this to happen).

We went inside and all our furnitures are covered with mud.I saw the mark of the water in our wall. It's inches away from the ceiling. Shoes and clothings can't be distinguished which color, all documents were wet and covered with mud. Our utensils are nowhere to be found, they're scattered everywhere. No clothes were saved. To make it all short, all was damaged. I couldn't imagine this will happen. Nobody expected it. It's so tragic. The typhoon might have been gone. But the damage and trauma will remain. But I still thank God that my family is saved. That's all that matters.

SOMETHING'S MISSING

This is an honest feeling. I'm heading through marraige life yet I've been missing a lot in my life. The closeness to my parents. Eversince my growing years, I never felt a parent supporting me all the way. The fact that I never grew up with them. I was under the care of my grand parents four months after mom gave birth to me. I would tell that I'm close to my lola and aunts in the rural area. My parents just provided me with things that don't even sympathize to what I feel.

When I was four, they took me back with them. My dad used to be a lil close to me. He would give me a few hugs and kisses even though he's busy working. My childhood years was spent together with a yaya (nanny). They sent me to a rpivate school but never attended any PTA meetings, never let me dance ballet (which I very much loved to do) and didn't let me enjoy all the things I wanted to experience during my younger years.

I'm on my teen years until I stepped to college. I wanted to take up journalism or mass communications but mom hindered all. She let me took up business course. I never find it interesting. She would get mad if I get low grades. I just can't achieve anything if it doesn't interests me, so how would I get a high grade?

I fell into some on and off relationships and I never shared any of it to them. All my relationships were kept secret till the just found out from some friends who saw me dating with somebody.

I had this one guy that I would I would last forever with him but my parents totally disagree with our relationship. I tried to fight the rleationship but the guy totally gave up because my parents didn't like him at all.

I got pregnant with my present boyfriend and they were so mad at me after knowing that I was diagnosed to ectopic pregnancy. All hurting words were thrown back at me and they were so disappointed. Our relationship nearly eneded because of this. But my boyfriend stood up and eventually won back the trust of my parents. We're happy now. I'm open with my relationship now.

Mom got stroke after a couple of months. My brother and I were scared thinking we might lose her. I was worried about dad also. Afterall she's my mother. Though she's recovering now, our closeness hasn't changed. I felt like I never had a mom. All my years I never felt my mom being in my side. All I could remember is her telling me to pay some bills and insurances. Sometimes I would think, is money all that matters to her?

When the family of my boyfriend came to house to fully agreed of getting us engaged, They even told them that I'm useless and I'm suwail na bata (rebel child). But my boyfriend said he proved them wrong. I may be suplada buy I'm not a rebel. I just need somebody to understand the real me.

When I went to meet the whole family of my fiance, I envy them. When my fiance's brother died, I saw how bonded they all are. All are so sweet with each other and very supportive of each other. They never fight and never throw words at each other. Their parents never humiliated them and they fully understand each of their 9 children. I wonder, we are just 2 in the family but our parents never saw our inner personality.

I just wanted to feel loved. But now I know why I was not close to my parents especially my mom. It's because she was never there when I grew up. I understand that they have to work but that should have understood that they have kids to spend time with. I don't know if I still have the possibility to bear a child. But if will, I'll make it a point to spend time with my baby no matter how busy I am. I'll never let my baby experience what I've been through. I'll be the best mother I can be for my baby....someday.

JUBOGSKI

I haven't had enough sleep last night. Jet called me past 10 in the evening and he sounded drunk. At first he denied the fact. he reasoned that he watched tv and he just went to his room at that time of the hour. I knew he's lying coz I know exactly that he sleeps 9pm. After further forcing, he finally admitted that he had a drink with a certain "Joel"...and that made me so mad!!! Not to mention that he woke me up in the middle of my sleep claiming that I haven't called him (fart!!! I've waited for hours waiting for your call!!!)..In the middle of the night where my folks were asleep, I was shouting at him on the phone!!! I never had enough sleep not to mention that I still have my period and my shift is 4AM!!!

Worried

I feel bad. I'm getting worried about the future. I know that according to The Secret you have to stay positive in most times. But this time I don't think I have to stay positive. It hurts to think that you can't get what you want. You have obligations. What you earn doesn't stay on you. You have to give a part of it to the persons who demand something or who oblige something from you. That's me and my fiance. We have responsibilities. Not to mention that we are saving for the future but we can't...it's because as long as we're single we have responsibilities. We don't earn big as of now and I don't know if when are we going to experience the one called wealth. I just have to ask my self all the time...Why am I not born rich? If only I have something and I'm willing to give a help...that's the sad truth..I have nothing.

WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS

I watched The Chorinicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian last Saturday with Jet. I begged him for that coz he's not the type of a movie goer. He made a deal with me that if he finds the movie dull, I'll pay back the price. But if he finds it nice, it's all for free. I'm glad he found it nice!!!

Sunday I had lunch with him together with his family. His recent crave is playing the guitar. he played the song "Narda" by Kamikazee and I sang along. He then tagged me to the mall to buy a guitar coz he was so eager to learn but with such unfortunate luck, his credit card was declined! I was like "Since when did that thing went offline?!" he calmed me down. But he will still buy that guitar this week. Hassle...

Monday was a holiday. It's Independence Day. I stayed home and watched TV the whole boring day. Mom and Dad went out, my brother's in Roxas, Jet stayed home with his family and I was like couch potato. I can't remember how many times I scanned the channel and nothing interesting on TV. I have to wait for TV Patrol World and Lobo to show up in Prime Time Bida.

So far that's it for the days....I'm back to work...

GRATITUDE

There are certain things that I would like to be thankful about. Things that I thought I would never have and would never experience in my life. First, my job. I've always wished to work at well known company that would I can benefit my whole life. Before I graduated from college, I dreamed on working at the Human Resources department. My past jobs were not so generous in giving me the oppurtunity till ePLDT Ventus found me. Now, I am with the Human Resources Payroll, oha?! hehehe.

Next is the working environment. I've never been motivated in my life since I joined Ventus HR. Why? Because all my co-workers here are helping me out. We are a team and we had an unbelievable HR Manager.

I've never been happier when the man in my life was finally given to me. I had some failed relationships in the past and I almost thought that I would forever be a failure. This guy loved me so much and I can see it in him. He loved me and my family and even my lola hehehe. Not to mention that I also love his family and his family loved me too!! I'm so close with his sisters.

Finally, my parents liked him for me. Finally and totally finally. My mom never welcomed any guys at home before. Now, the house is an open house for Jet..Thank you Lord. Happy nako.. Favor, will you ring the bells for me next year? hehehe what I mean is wedding bells...

MISS YOU BABE

I just finished my time reports for the cut-off. I dropped some teams which didn't submit their time reports. But I pity those who depend on the allowances. they will receive just a little amount of their salary. Rules are rules peeps, sorry.

I missed Jet. We met this morning and he was all smiles, I saw in him the fondness and the craving of me, hehehe. While we roam the grocery store, he kept saying "Mi, hidlaw gid ko sa imo" (Mi, I miss you badly). Well, can't wait this Saturday and Sunday and Monday (no office, it's Independence Day).

It just feels good that you are being loved so much :)